Crushed
by Anonymous Rose1
Summary: So basically, it features Eli, Clare, Adam, and Zane. And it has my favorite...really random pairings. I think I'm going to make it 10 chapters. So, that's 3 to go...yay! Also, at the end, I'll post the names of all the songs I used, if you care.
1. Chapter 1

"Eli!" Clare yells from behind me. I turn to face her.

"Yeah?" I answer.

"Where are you going? And in such a hurry?" she demands. If my face could show how embarrassed I am, I'd be a tomato right now. Thank God for my good genes.

"Um, nowhere important," I lie in response.

"Oh, good, because I was wondering if you could give me a ride," she says. Clare's my friend, and how am I supposed to say no to her when she's looking at me like that? Her innocent, beautiful eyes open and she flutters her eyelashes. She's flirting with me, again. Okay, I might have led her on. Okay, I did lead her on. But, still…

"Sure," I answer. I race to my Hearse, practically jumping into it as I start the engine.

"You are trying to get somewhere," she tells me. "I'll just catch a ride with Jenna or Alli."

"No," I exclaim, perhaps too quickly.

"Any specific reason?" she teases. Oh, God, I've done it now.

"Um, what I mean is I'm not in a hurry," I reply.

"Oh," she says, her face falling.

"I just, I have to, I mean, I'm meeting Adam at _The Dot_," I explain. She smiles at me, suddenly, and I can tell that she has some amazing idea.

"Can I come with?" she asks.

"Um, no, I don't think that's a good idea," I tell her. Her face falls, again, and she looks away from me. "I'm really sorry. It's just…you wouldn't have any fun. It's guy stuff."

"Got to be better than listening to my parents arguing," she responds.

"Oh yeah, how are the headphones working out for you?" I ask her, trying to change the subject, quickly and painlessly.

"Great. Thanks so much for giving them to me," she answers.

"Amazing. Okay, we're here," I say to her. Now get out of the freaking car!

"Thanks for the ride," she tells me. And she finally gets out of my car. I go past the speed limit, trying to make it to _The Dot _on time. When I get there, 10 minutes late, Adam's talking to Peter Stone, the bartender-ish guy.

"Hey," I say. He turns around as I walk up behind him.

"You're late," he answers.

"I know, Clare needed a ride," I explain.

"Ah, how was that?" he asks, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows. I punch him, not turning red, and order. "So, what do you want to do this time?" he queries.

"I have a plan," I reply. Adam rolls his eyes. He's overreacting, of course. Not **all** my plans end badly. We eat, pay, and climb into my Hearse. I'm explaining something, very important, to him. "…it was huge!" I exclaim, talking about the amp my grandma bought me for my last birthday.

"That's what my ex-girlfriend said," he interjects. My stomach falls and I feel the tears prickling my eyes. "Eli, I was kidding, calm down," he screams, as I swerve unintentionally from not being able to fight back the tears.

"That's not why I'm crying," I manage to choke out, even though it is. He reaches across me and leads the car into a parking space along the sidewalk.

"Eli," he says quietly, testing to see what I'll do. "Did something happen with Clare?" he asks.

"No, something did not happen with Clare," I defend angrily.

"I see…" he replies.

"No, you don't!" I yell. "You don't get it, damn it!"

"Eli, man, calm down," he says.

"I will not calm down! Stop trying to tell me what to do! Do you think just because you have my heart, you can take away my free will, too?"

"Oh, man, okay, this is…um…unexpected. I'm gonna call Clare, okay?"

"No way! She'll flip!"

"Can't be worse than you."

"You wanna bet? She's a chick, it'll be wayyyyyyyy worse."

"I'm just gonna leave, then."

"And leave me here in a car. A car that I could go drive off the edge of a cliff. Yeah, smart thinking right there." 

"Eli…"

"Don't…" I warn.

"Mr. Hearse-driver, sir. Would you please calm down?"

"No."

"Come on, now, please."

"Obviously, you've never humiliated yourself and had your heart broken within the same 5 minutes, or else you'd stop telling me to calm the fuck down."

"Eli, you're my friend. I don't want to see you suffer. Tell me where your house is and I'll drive there. Then, I'll get you inside and, um, call Clare for directions."

"Fine." We made it back to my house, where Adam did get me inside and did call Clare for directions.

"Here's some tea," he says, handing me the mug.

"Great," I answer sarcastically.

"Remind me why I'm still here," he answers.

"Because I'm your friend and you feel bad for hurting me beyond belief. Like, way beyond belief, because of forces out of our control."

"Hilarious."

"Or because you think that if you don't stick around that I'll jump back in my Hearse and drive it off a cliff. Even though that's completely ridiculous because I would never damage such a great car. Or because you don't have a ride without me."

"Yeah, third one, definitely."

"Really feeling the love here, Adam."

"I try."

"I noticed."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"You ordered me around."

"You liked me."

"You're likable."

"You're such a girl."

"You're such a guy."

"You're so annoying."

"You're so hot."

"I'm so not answering that."

"You already did."

"Great."

"You're so rude."

"You're such a jerk."

"You didn't tell Clare what actually happened, right?"

"No. I saved your ego from her."

"Shut up." 

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"All right, next on Clare's list: Get rid of everything pertaining to the person in question. Do you have anything around your house that's mine or that reminds you of me?"

"Apart from you? Hmm, no."

"What? No stolen jacket? You're such a bad person to have crushing on me."

"What?"

"I was looking forward to some ceremonial burning of my stuff."

"That could be arranged."

"Shut up."

"Stop looking at me like that!" 

"Like what?"

"Like I'm going to break." 

"Why?"

"Because I'm not."

"Really, because you seemed pretty close."

"Shut up."

"All right, since you don't have any of my stuff, Clare suggests a mani-pedi."

"My nails could use some touching up."

"Chick."

"Idiot."

"Whatever, the next thing is: Go out and flirt."

"Great, then you have to leave, and I'll call up Zane."

"I don't have a ride."

"I don't care."

"Come on."

"No, get one."

"I had one. Until the driver fell in love with me."

"Shut up."

"Make me." 

"Okay." And, then, I kissed him. Probably not the best decision, but whatever. He looked shocked, and somewhat disgusted, but to me it was like heaven.

"Now, drive me home."

"Oh, alright."

"Then, call Zane."

"Okay."

"And, be safe. You're still my friend, after all. And I don't want you getting anything."

"Shut up."

"Beg."

"Down on my knees?" 

"You are bad."

"I know." I drove him home, the ride filled with odd banter of the same kind.

"Don't have too much fun."

"Jealous?"

"You wish."

"I do."

"Get out of here."

"Gladly, Zane's waiting."


	2. Chapter 2

7:30 am. I glare at what woke me up (my alarm clock) as I grab my phone drowsily. Ooh, texts. Clare asking me to pick her up and take her to school, Adam asking me how I was, and Zane saying he's sorry. I pop a piece of toast in the toaster, pour myself some orange juice, and eat breakfast. Then, I grab my keys, get into my car, and drive to go pick up Clare. While we drive to school, she flirts with me and I, being pissed off and hurt, flirt shamelessly back. I should probably stop doing that. Once at school, she races off to join Alli and I find Adam.

"So, how was last night?" he asks me suggestively.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Look on the bright side, there's always Clare."

"Shut up."

"You wanna make me again." 

"No."

"Come on, we both know you wanna talk about it."

"You are really annoying."

"And you really are an idiot." He paused a couple seconds to gauge my reaction, before speaking again. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"Oh, really?"

"Worst case scenario: He said no."

"Worse."

"Really? How?" 

"He said yes."

"Um, how exactly is this worse?"

"Shut up and let me finish."

"Gladly."

"Then, I waited 2 hours for him to show up. And guess what!"

"What?"

"He never did."

"You got stood up." 

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome, Mr. Hearse-Driver."

"Shut up."

"Fine. So, tell me what happened, exactly."

"Why?"

"Because, um, that's what chicks do, right? I'm just trying to help, by, like, being your girl friend. As in friend that's a girl."

"You are a moron. Anyway, I called him up and asked him if he wanted to go out. He said yes, and to meet him at _The Dot_ in 20 minutes. I said sure, I'll be there. Then, I get there and wait and wait and wait and wait for him to show up. 2 hours later, I gave up."

"Wait, so you waited 2 hours for some jerk who never showed up and he never apologized?" 

"Oh, no, he did." I whip out my phone and find the text to show him.

"He texted you an apology?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So? That's, like, not sincere. I would know, being a guy and having done it before to a girl that I stood up because I didn't actually want to go out with her and –"

"Would you shut up?"

"Shutting up."

"Could this week get any worse?"

"Yes."

"Really? How?"

"Ask nicely."

"Would you please tell me how this week could get any worse?" 

"Of course, Clare could find out and never talk to you again."

"Thank you, oh Wise One."

"You're welcome, Young Grasshopper. Are you sure you don't need to cry or something?"

"Shut up."

"Ah…I see."

"What?"

"You're waiting for me to leave so you can run back to the death-mobile and start crying."

"That's not true. I cried yesterday."

"Of course."

"You're such a guy."

"You're such a girl."

"Just…shut up!"

"No."

"Come on, let's just get to class."

"No."

"Why not?"

"We're gonna go find Zane, and I'm going to kill him."

"I thought death was my specialty."

"You'd think."

"Do we have to find Zane? I really don't want to see him."

"Come on, I'll be there."

"Real reassuring," I answer sarcastically.

"Shut up."

"I'm gonna need something to do with my mouth."

"Here's some gum," he says, handing me a stick of spearmint gum. Obviously, he doesn't actually want me talking or maybe he was just taking me seriously or maybe I'm not supposed to say anything once he finds Zane. We finally do find Zane, standing around in the library. "Zane!" Adam calls out.

"Dude, we're in a library," I whisper.

"Right. Hey, I thought I told you to shut up."

"You can order me around all you like, but this is what got us into trouble last time."

"Seriously, be quiet, stand back, and look sad and pretty."

"Fine."

"Zane," Adam says. "I need to talk to you." Zane makes his way over to us.

"Yeah?" he asks Adam, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Did you seriously think you could stand up my friend and get away with it?" Adam demands. Zane looks like he's floundering and he turns to me for support. I feel a lump forming in my throat and my eyes prickling. I'm going to cry, again.

"Let's go, please," I beg Adam, my voice cracking with the strain of trying not to cry.

"Eli…" Adam replies, trying to reassure me that he's got this.

"Please," I plead, my voice rough. Adam turns to face me, takes one look at my face and nods. He turns back to Zane.

"We'll finish this later," he warns Zane as he pulls me away. "What happened? I thought you said you were okay."

"Just because I say something, doesn't make it true and I guess I just didn't realize that seeing him would mess me up," I retort angrily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off."

"Really? Cause it sure seemed like that was your goal."

"I'm trying to be a good friend here."

"Yeah? Well, you're failing miserably."

"Get in the Hearse."

"Why?"

"We're going somewhere?"

"Where?"

"Somewhere."

"You're going to make me drive to some random place so we can do something and you won't tell me where."

"Yep."

"Ugh! Fine."

"Just trust me, okay?" We drive for about a half an hour, him directing and me following said directions. "We're here!" he exclaims as I pull up to a lake.

"What is this place?" I ask.

"Where you're going to get better," he answers. I roll my eyes as he drags me to the edge of a pier. We sit down. "Now, cry," he orders.

"I can't just cry on command." 

"Come on, you know you want to. You were practically sobbing at school."

"Yeah, well…that was when he was around."

"So, you're not going to cry over a boy who told you he'd meet up with you, then stood you up, made you wait for 2 hours, and texted you an apology?"

"No," I answer, the tears already starting to form.

"And that's what I thought," Adam tells me, as I completely break down, and he pulls me into a hug. Once I'm all cried out, he tells me the next course of action. "Now, swim. Swim until you can't swim anymore."

"What?"

"Trust me, okay."

"Okay," I reply shakily, pulling off my shoes, socks, jacket, shirt, and pants, before jumping into the water. It's embarrassing to be stripping in front of a guy I was in love with only a day ago, but I do it anyway. "Where do I swim?"

"To the island and back."

"Okay." I do, and one time feels horrible, the second is just as bad, the third starts to feel better, and by the tenth time I feel amazing. However, by the thirtieth time, I'm starting to drop.

"Keep going," Adam tells me. I do, and I make it to fifty before I literally collapse.

"Can't…swim…any…more," I get out, between gulps of air. Adam pulls me back onto the pier.

"Here're your clothes."

"But my underwear…"

"There's an extra pair in the shed. Now go change." I do so and come back.

"Thanks," I tell him.

"Whatever," he mumbles, embarrassed, his face turning red. Thank God for my good genes. "Just don't worry, okay? You'll find somebody amazing eventually. Trust me."

"I wish I could."

"Oh, come on."

"Fine, but only because you didn't lie about the underwear in the shed." He rolls his eyes as I smile.

"Just, be careful, okay? I don't want to see you hurt."

"I'm going to get hurt, it's inevitable."

"Maybe you should pick someone more trustworthy next time, someone you know, for example."

"If I never put myself out there, I can't find someone."

"Fine."

"Come on, let's go."

"Happily. And don't think I've forgotten about killing Zane."

"Not for a minute."


	3. Chapter 3

"Thank you," I tell Adam, for what must be the millionth time. He rolls his eyes, again, and tells me to just shut up and keep driving. We finally get back to school, and Adam decides to wait around for Zane. I, on the other hand, would rather not.

"You can do whatever you want," Adam says, which is just another way of telling me to stick around.

"Whatever," I answer, shrugging, as I turn on my iPod. The lyrics blast into my eardrums. Untouched by The Veronicas, or so the screen says. Who the hell put this on my iPod?

_I feel so untouched_

_And I need you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

_I feel so untouched right now_

_Need you so much_

_Somehow I can't forget_

_I'm going crazy from the moment I met you_

_Untouched…_

_And I need you so much_

How ironically perfect, considering the situation. Actually, this whole situation is kind of weird. Adam, who I'd just confessed my love for, was not only still my friend, but sticking up for me against an older guy who'd just stood me up. I don't think many people can say that.

"Found him," Adam informs me, dragging me towards Zane.

_I feel so untouched_

_And I need you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

_I feel so untouched right now_

_Need you so much_

_Somehow I can't forget_

_I'm going crazy from the moment I met you_

"Zane!" Adam screams, his girly voice shattering the air. Yes, I know he's transgender, but it still catches me by surprise how well he can shriek.

"Yeah?" Zane asks, as he races towards us. Please don't let him be able to tell that I've been crying. "Oh my God, Eli, have you been crying?" Well, so much for that.

"I'm fine," I answer, diverting from the actual question.

"Actually, he's not," Adam informs Zane. "I can't believe you stood him up and texted him an apology."

"I…never meant to hurt you," Zane says, talking to me.

"Whatever," I mumble.

"Can I make it up to you? I've got tickets to a concert Friday night," Zane replies.

"Will you show up?" Adam demands. Harsh, but he's just looking out for me, I know.

"I promise," Zane answers seriously. "Will you come?"

"Yeah, I guess," I say.

"Ok, pick you up at seven," he tells me, smiling. I nod, the smile having done it. "At _The Dot_," he elaborates. God, why does everyone want to hang out there? I think that was the beginning of my downfall.

"Seriously?" Adam demands incredulously.

"What?" I exclaim.

"You didn't even make him work for it," Adam replies.

"Was I supposed to?" I ask dreamily.

"Hey, Eli!" K.C. calls out. Damn, this can't be good.

"Hey, K.C.," I answer, sounding a little concerned. Okay, maybe very concerned. Okay, definitely concerned.

"Don't worry," he says. "Clare was looking for you, that's all."

"What?" I demand, finally snapping to attention.

"Yeah, she's in the lunch court with Alli and Jenna, sort of…Anyway, I was just headed back there."

"Um, could you tell her I've got plans?"

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"What?" 

"Hanging out with the person I'm dating."

"Who's that?"

"Just someone. It's not really important."

"Oh, and she asked about Friday."

"What about Friday?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, yeah, Clare wanted to hang out with you Friday, surprise," Adam interjects. I turn to glare at him, then look back at K.C.

"I've got plans."

"Big date?"

"Maybe."

"Wow! Ditching your friend for some girl, that takes guts. Especially when that friend is Clare. You've got to tell me about this girl. What makes her so special?"

"Nice, funny, smart, older, cute…"

"Boy, you are so whipped."

"Naw, he's just on the rebound," Adam says.

"Oh, yeah, that. Just about every chick looks better on the rebound."

"Yeah, maybe," I answer.

"Look, I gotta go, or Jenna will start to wonder where I am, but I'll tell Clare you're busy."

"Thanks, and K.C.?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you leave out the rebound part?"

"Absolutely."

"Did you have to tell K.C. that I was on the rebound?"

"He thought you were whipped."

"That was better."

"Clare's gonna kill you when she finds out, you know."

"Who says she'll find out?"

"She's a chick, it's bound to happen sooner or later."

"Shut up."

"Fine. But, seriously, this again?"

"Yes, again. You know I love you, but you've got to control that mouth of yours."

"Mind saying that a little louder, I'm pretty sure the Russians didn't hear you."

"What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal? I'm a guy in a girl's body. People already think I'm a lesbian, we don't have to add bi or gay to the mix."

"Whatever."

"Besides, don't you not want Clare to find out that you're gay?"

"I want her to know, just not right now. I just…don't want to make her cry or anything."

"And you thought lying to me was the best way?" Clare demands from behind me.

"Clare…"

"Leaving," Adam says, walking away from the scene we've just created.

"You flirted with me, you liar!"

"I never liked you."

"Exactly my point! You flirted with me! You led me on!"

"Do you really want to do this right now?"

"You made me feel special! God, what is wrong with you?"

"I'm a partially-closeted gay. Or, at least, I was," I tell her, breaking down into tears, as I fall to the ground.

"Eli…Are you okay?" she asks, softening. She's being way too easy on me, it's more than I deserve.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, as she pulls me into a hug, both of us now on the ground.

"It's okay," she replies. "So, tell me what happened," she says, and it finally feels right. I tell her everything, from Adam to Zane to swimming. My head perches delicately on her shoulder, her head atop mine as we sit with our backs to the lockers. Zane comes up to us.

"Hey," he says. "I heard about what happened."

"Of course you did," I mumble miserably. Clare mutters her sad agreement.

"So…I…brought you some chocolate," he tells us.

"Seriously?" Clare asks, instantly perking up. What is it with girls and chocolate?

"Seriously," he answers, smiling.

"God, he is so sweet," Clare whispers as Zane sits on my other side. "I totally get why you like him."

"Whatever."

"Seriously, plus I've always wanted a gay best friend. And, I should have known. I mean, honestly, the nails were kind of a giveaway."

"Seriously, shut up."

"Okay."

"I didn't mean…"

"I know."

"Chocolate!" Zane exclaims next to us, handing it out.

"See, don't you feel better now?" 

"Maybe, just a little," I answer. Okay, maybe a lot.

"Admit it, you know I'm right."

"Happily, because I know you are."


	4. Chapter 4

"Clare," I whine from my room. She races in, looking concerned.

"What?" she questions worriedly, her brow furrowing as she searches for the cause of my complaint. The only thing she finds is me, shirtless, holding up two shirts.

"Which one?" I ask her.

"Um, let me see, black or blacker? Ooh, tough one here Eli," she replies sarcastically. Adam, who's lying on my bed, snorts at her tone.

"Ugh…seriously," I say.

"This one," she answers, pulling the shirt in my left hand, which is faintly blacker than the other one.

"You're sure?" I demand, wanting to look my best.

"I'm sure," she says, smiling at me. I throw the other shirt on my bed, successfully hitting Adam with the hanger, and throw the shirt on.

"How do I look?" I question.

"The same as always…like a complete dork," Adam answers.

"You look good," Clare assures me. "Oh my goodness, you are so cute!" she exclaims a moment later. I turn to face her, unsure as to how to respond to this. "Sorry, that came out wrong," she apologizes, upon seeing my face. "What I meant is: It is so cute how you're acting like a girl trying to impress Zane."

"Um, thanks, I guess."

"Ha! You're blushing!" Adam exclaims suddenly, jumping up from my bed.

"I'm not," I insist, sounding defensive. Fact: I have good genes.

"You're in love," Clare teases.

"I'm not," I repeat.

"He's right…he's in ," Adam interjects, pulling out the "o" in love to sound like "luv".

"I am not!" I yell, now really embarrassed. "I just…want it to be special, that's all."

"Boy, K.C. was right," Adam answers.

"Right about what?" Clare asks curiously.

"Eli is so whipped."

"I. Am. Not."

"You. Are. Too."

"Would you two please stop arguing?" Clare interrupts. Adam and I move away from each other. "I still don't get why there's so much tension between you two."

"What's not to get?" Adam asks as I say: "There isn't any," which makes the whole thing sound like, "What's not there isn't to get any?" Somehow, Clare manages to understand what we're saying, though.

"Eli, there is…And Adam, what is to get?"

"There's history…or whatever."

"Yeah, during the last three days. Eli, I understand, but Adam, what do you have to be tensioned about?"

"Clare…" Adam warns, sensing something that she doesn't. Where the hell's my iPod when I need it?

"You guys see my iPod?" I ask.

"Um, right here," Adam says uncomfortably, throwing it to me. I plug in my headphones and start listening to it.

"Eli, are you alright?" Clare asks me gently.

"Yeah," I mumble, not wanting to face the issue at hand. Yes, I'll admit that I'm probably not emotionally ready to talk about my Adam issues or what happened with Clare, or acknowledge it for that matter.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn _

_Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_Well that's alright because _

_I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

"Eli, tell me the truth," Clare begs, her eyes full of concern. I open my mouth to speak but, finding that no words can explain the way I feel, I close it and turn my head away. "Eli…" Clare whispers. Concentrate, Eli, concentrate. The less I think about what's going on right now, the easier this is going to be. Think of the music. Don't relate it to your life. Don't worry. Everything will be alright. Everything will be…alright. Everything will…be alright. Everything…will be alright…Every…I can't even finish the sentence anymore. Outside my mind, Clare is trying to talk to me and Adam is looking at me worriedly. Somehow, there's nothing I can do to get out from the underwater prison that I've trapped myself in. Is it really that much safer? What with all the sharks? Yes, they may be dangerous, but at least the sharks can't mess with your mind, your heart, your soul. Check the clock, Eli, check the clock. 6:30, perfect.

"I've got to go," I tell them.

"Are you going to be okay?" Clare asks me, again.

"I'll be fine," I assure her, despite the doubts that cloud my mind. I drive my Hearse to _The Dot_, Clare and Adam coming along with me. They decide to stay there, guarding my car, as I leave with Zane to the concert. The boy I loved with the girl that loved me, how ironic. We drive, smoothly, for the first 10 minutes, before suddenly jerking to a stop due to a stop sign that Zane barely noticed.

"Sorry," he apologizes.

"Why?" I ask.

"I'm…a little nervous," he admits.

"Yeah, me too."

"Oh, good. Not that you're nervous, but that I'm not alone in being nervous or whatever. God, this sounds so wrong!"

"It's fine, I don't mind really."

"Oh, thank God." He smiles, his face lighting up the whole car and his voice bringing me up from the water, the sharks grabbing at my legs.

"So, where are we going?" I ask.

"Um, a concert," he jokes, lifting me higher with his goofy smile. 80 feet to go. With 100 being as low as I sink, and 20 feet gone in 5 minutes, my night looks promising.

"Yeah? What concert?"

"Um, _Three Days Grace_, that's okay, right?"

"Oh, yeah, love them."

"Great," he answers, smiling nervously. He's more nervous than I am, wow! He must really like me. 70 feet to go. The surface is my goal. I never aim higher. Never. Not even on a good day. On a bad day, I pray for 90. On an okay day, I wish for 60. On a good day, I ask for 30. And on an amazing day, I request 0. Please, let today be a 0. Please… "Um, Eli?" Zane asks.

"Sorry, I zoned out."

"Am I really that boring?" I feel lifted to 60 below. "Seriously, though, did you bring a jacket?"

"Uhh, no."

"Oh, okay. You can always borrow mine if you get cold," he offers, smiling again. 50 feet, and the night's just barely begun. My phone vibrates in my pocket. Clare texting me. Seriously, now? "You gonna check it?" Zane asks. "Or just stare at the screen?" He smiles. "Clare. Hmm, is something happening that I should know about."

"Of course not." 30 feet, but will that text drag me down? Of course it will, the doubt screams. No, the reasoning in me swears, it's only Clare after all. I check it.

**R u ok?**

**Clare 3**

Am I okay? I'm at 30 feet, a good day. Of course I'm okay, the reasoning says. No, the doubt shrieks, I'm never okay.

**Yah :) dnt worry**

**Eli ;) **

"What'd she have to say?" Zane asks.

"Oh, not much, just checking up on me."

"Checking to see if I'd jumped you yet?" he quizzes, smiling. 20 feet.

"Something like that. Are you planning to? Should I text her to worry?"

"Yes and yes, a lot."

"Hmm, this ought to be interesting."

"Yes, yes it should," he says, smiling even more than before. 10 feet to go, 90 feet from rock bottom. We arrive at the concert and listen to most of the songs in partial silence, dancing sexily together and ignoring the stares we're getting. About a third of the way through, I do have to borrow Zane's jacket, it's just so damn cold. It hangs loose on me, and I feel the stares as I stand there in my boyfriend's jacket, like I'm some sort of chick. "Sing with me," Zane orders when the band starts singing _I Hate Everything About You_.

_Only when I stop to think about it_

_I_

_HATE_

_Everything about you_

_WHY_

_DO _

_I _

_Love you?_

And then, just like that, he kisses me. And I've finally made it, finally made it into the sky. So, this is what it feels like. I'd almost forgotten what it's like. He pulls away, and I start to fall. "Kiss me again," I plead, and he obliges.

"Looks like I won't have to jump you."

"Looks like it." We kiss during the rest of the concert, and on the way to his car, where we stay for what seems like hours until I feel my phone vibrating.

**R u coming bak at all?**

**-Adam**

**Yah, course :) Half hour**

**Eli ;)**

"We have to go," I tell Zane.

"Aw, and just when things were getting good, too," he says in mock complaint. I smile, I've lost count of where I am. Somewhere above the surface, flying high in the sky.

"I really like you, Zane. And tonight was great."

"I'm glad you liked it. And, I really like you, too. Lunch, tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Cool." He drives me back where I pick up Adam and Clare in my Hearse. It's 4:00 am.

"So, how was tonight?" Adam asks.

"It was…amazing. No, it was better than amazing," I tell him, sighing.

"Sounds like someone's in love," Clare teases.

"Yeah, how far did you two go?"

"Gross," Clare and I say together, rolling our eyes at Adam.

"So, next date?" Clare asks

"Tomorrow at lunch," I inform her.

"Ooh, sweet," she answers.

"How absolutely adorable," Adam mocks.

"Not even you can ruin my good mood."

"Seriously?" Adam asks.

"Yes, I'm really happy."

"Good," Clare and Adam answer. "I'm happy." "Thank God." But the way it sounded was more like "I'm happy, thank God." This is, of course, my feeling of the night (or morning).

Nothing matters anymore, because Zane's finally pulled me above the surface.

**Author's Note: Okay, I know this gets really confusing…sometimes it confuses me. Also, I'm sorry about using music randomly, but I really like my music. Plus, Eli, with those ridiculous headphones, seems like the music kind. And, I know that you probably feel like I'm just peeling back layer after layer of Eli, but I swear that it gets somewhere eventually. One more thing: Did you catch my symbolism? Well, did you? **

**Sharks = doubts**

**Water = depression, kind of…or the way his doubts pull him down, I'm not entirely sure**


	5. Chapter 5

"Come on, Eli! Hurry up! You're taking longer than me and Clare combined. And I had to wrap, she had to curl hair, pick out her outfit, and color coordinate," Adam yells at me.

"I'm coming! I just have to find the right jacket!" I scream in reply.

"What about the one you wore yesterday?" Clare asks me, walking through my door.

"I didn't wear a jacket yesterday," I answer, looking at her like she's gone partially insane, which maybe she has, it was a long night.

"Yeah, you came back wearing some black jacket. It was, like, way big on you and all, but…" she trails off, realizing that she's gone off the subject. I mentally hit myself in the head.

"Zane's jacket!" I exclaim in realization.

"Zane's jacket?" she demands.

"Yeah, I got cold and he gave me his jacket," I reply, picking it up off my lamp – what the hell? – and turn to move past her out the door.

"Oh my gosh, that is so chivalrous," Clare gushes.

"Yeah, whatever, out the door," I order, running down the stairs and into my car. Adam and Clare climb in behind me.

"Well, at least now I know that the look takes…um, about forever," Adam says sarcastically. I roll my eyes, what did he think? That my clothes just fell on me and my hair styled itself and my accessories just randomly appeared? "He may look like a vampire, but he lacks the speed. Or maybe, he has it and it still takes this long. That's a scary thought," Adam taunts.

"It is too early for you to be this annoying," I tell him.

"Just because you had an exhausting night with Zane and then stayed up until 6:00 am talking to someone about your amazing date and then only got an hour and a half of sleep doesn't mean that I did," he answers.

"Coffee stop!" I exclaim, the three of us getting out of my car to grab the elixir of life that's going to keep us going for the rest of the day. We quickly order, then jump back in my car, race into school, and just barely make it to first period. I get more and more nervous as the minutes tick by, waiting for lunch to arrive. It finally does and, as soon as the bell rings, I'm out of my class. I find Zane waiting for me at the cafeteria entrance. Upon seeing me, he smiles and opens the door.

"You first, princess," he offers, kissing the top of my head gently.

"I'm not a girl," I reply defensively. He looks taken aback and stays frozen at the door. Next, his expression turns scared, like he thinks I'm going to be mad about a tiny, little comment he's made. There's got to be a reason behind that. Guess I'm not the only one with issues. Instinctively, I reach for my iPod, to block out what's going on, but I realize that's not going to help. "Sorry, that was…out of line," I apologize. He smiles as if to say it's okay.

"I didn't mean to offend you. It was just a joke, because you're wearing my jacket and all," he responds.

"Oh," I sound in realization. "Do you want your jacket back?" I ask.

"Nah, you keep it. You look really cute in it," he answers. Of course, I know exactly what he's doing. It's called claiming, like if I'm wearing his jacket, I'm his. We eat lunch, kiss passionately at my locker, but I still submerge in my music. It's a solid 20-day. A good day, but I want to get up higher. Somehow, though, I know that won't be happening.

_You might've been hurt, babe_

_That ain't no lie_

_You've seen them all come and go_

_I remember you told me_

_That it made you believe in no man_

_No cry_

_Maybe that's why_

_Every little thing I do_

_Never seems enough for you_

_You don't wanna lose it again_

_But I'm not like them_

_Baby, when you finally_

_Get to love somebody_

_Guess what!_

_It's gonna be me_

"Hey, Eli!" K.C. calls out. Great, only he or Fitz could make this day worse.

"Hi," I answer.

"Clare told me about what's going on, so here…" he says, holding something out to me. I grab whatever the hell it is. Condoms, oh great, what exactly did Clare tell him?

"Clare told you?" I say disbelievingly.

"Okay, Clare told Alli who told Jenna who told me," he tells me. Ah, so that's how it got so warped.

"Thanks, but…" I say, handing him back the objects.

"Just keep them, okay? Trust me," he answers, an air of suggestiveness about him. He walks away and Zane comes up from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What's going on with K.C.?" he whispers into my ear.

"Nothing important," I retort, moving to put the things in my back pocket. This, of course, isn't a good plan. Is anything on my part? Ever?

"Not to be rude but, Eli, we just got together," Zane tells me. Crap.

"Sorry, just trying to put something in my back pocket," I reply.

"Ooh, what is it?" Zane asks curiously, albeit theatrically.

"Nothing," I say.

"Ooh…" he sounds, grabbing for what's in my hand. "What is it? A love letter? Your deepest, darkest secret?" Ha! I wish…He finally is able to wrench them out of my hand. "Ah, okay…Um, interesting, not what I was thinking, but okay."

"It's not what you think," I defend.

"What is it, then?" he questions.

"You see, Clare told Alli what was going on. Alli told Jenna. And, um, Jenna told K.C. who somehow thought that what we were doing was a bit more advanced, and he thought it would be helpful for me to, uh, have these," I explain.

"Interesting, I'll admit," Zane answers.

"Great, you want to hang out?" I ask.

"Sure, _The Dot_, after football practice?" he queries.

"Um, okay. Hey! I could sit in during your practice," I respond.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" he inquires worriedly.

"Sure, why not?"

"Well, the football guys are kind of rough on gay guys. I don't want you getting hurt or anything."

"That's sweet, but I'm sure I can look out for myself."

"Okay, I'd be happier if you didn't stay, though," he half-protests.

"Don't worry, I've got my music, I'm all set." We make our way down to the football stadium where I sit in the stands and he races to the locker rooms to change. I watch, immersed in my music, and smile whenever he kicks it well.

"All right, boys, 5 minutes," the coach yells at them. Zane grabs his water and comes up to join me.

"You okay?" he asks.

"I'm fine," I answer.

"Okay," he says, kissing me. From the side, the cheerleaders shriek. The football boys look at us like we're an abomination, except for Riley who looks jealous.

"What's wrong with Riley?" I badger.

"He'll get over it," Zane answers.

"Get over what?" I demand.

"I'll explain later," Zane insists. Pulling away, he mutters what I think is, "I love you."

"What?" I ask, not having heard him.

"I said, 'I love you,'" he tells me, turning red.

"I love you, too," I offer in reply.

"Yay!" he whispers, kidding around, while kissing my neck.

"5 minutes is up, Mr. Park!" the coach yells.

"Go," I order, pushing him off.

"What if I don't want to?" he asks.

"Go!" I insist as he moves off of me and I return to my music.

_I keep thinking about that little sparkle in your eye_

_Is it a light from the angels?_

_Or your devil deep inside?_

_What about the way you say you love me all the time?_

_Are you lifting me up to heaven, just to drop me down the line?_

_There's a ring around my finger_

_But will you change your mind?_

_And you tell me that I'm beautiful_

_But that could be a lie_

_Are you heartbreaker?_

_Maybe you want me for the ride_

_What if I'm falling for a heartbreaker?_

_And everything is just a lie?_

_I won't be leaving here alive_

_I won't be leaving here alive_

Is he a heartbreaker? I don't think so, the reasoning manages to say. Of course he is, the doubt whispers, you can't trust him. But, I want to, I want to so badly it hurts, but should I? After practice, he comes up to me, fully changed. "You don't look so good," he whispers to me. "Is it because of the guys on the team?" he asks, despite my protests that I'm fine. "Is it because of Riley?"

"Zane, can I trust you?" I demand worriedly, frantically almost.

"Of course," he answers calmly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just…it's stupid," I say, turning away from him.

"Come on, you can tell me," he replies.

"It's just that…Nothing's going on with Riley, right?"

"No, well, not anymore."

"Oh, okay."

"You didn't think…did you?"

"Um, not really. I just…worry too much."

"Oh."

"Because of some stuff that happened."

"I won't pry."

"I've been lied to before, that's all. I don't trust easily."

"That's cool, I understand."

"Don't be hurt, it's not you…it's just, you know, in general."

"Eli!"

"Yeah?"

"I totally get it."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay, then…"

"So?"

"Yes?"

"About those condoms K.C. gave you…"

"I don't want to think about it."

"I was just going to say, maybe you should put them somewhere people can't find them."

"They're in my back pocket."

"That's real safe," Zane replies sarcastically.

"Safer than using them for something…For all I know you have an STD."

"For all I know, you have one," he quips.

"Touché," I answer.

"Now you are," he replies, touching my leg.

"What does that even mean?" I ask.

"Literally, touched."

"Eli! Zane!" Alli, Clare, and Jenna shriek at us, running as fast as they can.

"What?" I query, sounding concerned.

"Adam, K.C., Riley, and Drew got into a fight against some of the other football players because they made some comments about you two," Jenna tells us.

"What?" I exclaim.

"Come on, you have to help break it up. We'll go get Principal Simpson," Alli screams. Zane and I run to the chant of, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"You guys stop!" Zane yells.

"Adam, this isn't your fight!" I shriek.

"Riley, remember your record!" Zane again.

"K.C. this isn't worth it, you have a record too!" I roar.

"Come on, freaks, let the big boys fight this out," Fitz says. I deck him, and he turns to me murderously. Zane steps in front of me.

"Break it up! Break it up!" Principal Simpson yells. "All of you to my office, right now!"

"All of us?" a random spectator asks.

"No," Principal Simpson says, annoyed, "just Drew, K.C., Adam, Eli, Zane, Riley, Fitz, Owen, Tyler, and Rion." We all follow him to his office, scared of what's coming next. "All right, everyone take a seat," he orders. Drew and Adam both sit on the edges of a seat. Owen, Fitz, Tyler, Rion, Riley, and K.C. each get their own seat. There's only one seat left over. I offer it to Zane who offers it to me, but, catching Simpson's glare, I guess, he sits down and pulls me onto his lap. I lean back into him, the top of my head touching his cheek, his arms around my waist, and my legs intertwining with his as they hang down. "I'd like to know what happened, right now! Drew?"

"All I know is these guys were talking about Zane and Eli really badly, so we told them to take it back, and they told us to make them. We were about to fight," Drew answers.

"K.C.?" Principal Simpson asks.

"Same as Drew, Zane and Eli are dating, and they were making fun of them," K.C. replies.

"Adam?"

"Same."

"Riley?"

"Same."

"Fitz?"

"We were just kidding."

"Just kidding isn't tolerated. Owen?"

"Same as Fitz."

"Tyler?"

"Well, Eli hit Fitz."

"Why would that be, Rion?"

"Fitz called him a freak and told him to let the real men do the fighting."

"Eli, is this true?"

"Yes."

"Zane?"

"They got everything right."

"Well, then…Owen, Fitz, Tyler, Rion, sexual harassment. Eli, violence. The 5 of you will have detention for two weeks. And, except for Eli, you'll have to write an essay about why sexual harassment is not acceptable. Everyone else, you get off with a warning. Now, get out of here." We get up and leave. Zane wraps his arm around my shoulders, his hand moving up to mess with my hair.

"You okay?" he asks.

"I'm fine," I answer. "I'm going to go home, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"So, how'd it go?" Clare quizzes me and Adam as soon as we show up at my car.

"Great, I have detention for two weeks," I return sardonically.

"Adam?" Clare demands.

"Oh, got off, since I didn't do anything or whatever," he replies.

"Oh, okay," she responds quietly. I drive them home in a silence that settles for the rest of the night, even through Zane's goodnight call and me blasting my music.


	6. Chapter 6

I cannot believe that I'm stuck in detention with the exact people that taunted, teased, and tried to hurt me. It's so typical. Clare's just pissed that she has to stay super-late at my house to finish her English essays. Maybe she should get herself detention. Ha! Like that'll ever happen. Zane hangs out with me during school, but we don't have any time until this weekend. Meanwhile, I keep hearing rumors about him and Riley. I'm sure they're not true. They're not true, right?

"It's not true, right?" I ask Adam and Clare as we work on our newest English project.

"What's not true?" Adam demands cluelessly. I don't feel like explaining, so I turn to Clare and hope she knows what I'm talking about.

"No, Eli, Riley and Zane aren't going out. Don't worry so much," she informs me annoyedly, for what must be the millionth time.

"Yeah, dude, Zane's not that kind of guy," Adam tells me. This doesn't reassure me, however, because I know lots of people who aren't what they seem to be. Riley…gay. Adam…hates his body. Clare…more scared than she'll let on. Me…horribly doubtful with a hint of sardonic humor.

"How can you be sure?" I insist, whipping my hair out of my eyes.

"If you love him, you'll trust him," Clare replies, brushing off the issue. See, that's the problem: Do I really love Zane? Does he love me?

"How does that follow? Lots of people love people they can't or shouldn't trust," I respond. "What if I'm setting myself up for heartbreak?"

"Stop being so dramatic," Clare orders, rolling her eyes. It's past 10 o'clock and she's probably exhausted. I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket.

**Hey handsome**

**Zane :P**

**Hey :)**

**Eli ;)**

**Sup?**

**Zane :P**

**Projct, u?**

**Eli ;)**

**Not much**

**Zane :P**

**U wanna hang Saturday?**

**Eli ;)**

**Yah :)**

**Zane :P**

**Pick u up?**

**Eli ;)**

**Dot 7?**

**Zane :P**

**Yah**

**Eli ;)**

**Cool :)**

**Zane :P**

**C u den, bye**

**Eli ;)**

**Bye, luv u**

**Zane :P**

**Luv u 2 **

**Eli ;)**

"Earth to Eli!" Adam calls out, waving his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I ask, snapping to attention.

"Texting Zane again, were we?" he demands, making a grab for my phone. I pull it away from him, but he catches my wrist and yanks it away with his other hand. He looks over my texts, smirking at certain parts. "Hmm, you two, on a date, Saturday? What happened to I could be dating a terrible heartbreaker?"

"Maybe you should lay off the Zane kick, it's not unusual for people who spend lots of time together to get a little on edge with each other," Clare tells me.

"Maybe you should lay off telling me what to do, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself," I answer angrily. I plug in my headphones and press the play button on my iPod. A very, very random song comes on. I don't actually know where half the songs on my iPod come from – it's one of the great mysteries of the world.

_I wanna give in to the woman in me_

_I wanna be someone they don't want me to be_

_The moral of the story is:_

_I got no choice_

_I must not chase the boys_

Saturday, finally. Took me long enough to get here. A whole 2 days since Zane had texted me actually. TWO DAYS! "So, what are we doing today?" I ask him, when we meet at _The Dot_.

"Well, I was thinking you should meet my family, and I could meet yours. Only if you want to, of course," he answers. That could be a problem, seeing as I'm not exactly welcome at my house since Adam accidentally let it slip to my parents that I'm gay. I'm now living at his house, since he feels guilty for getting me kicked out.

"Um…" I offer as an answer, hoping that he'll get the message.

"I get it, too early, huh? Well, it was a longshot anyway," he replies, and, though he gives no indication, I can tell he's hurt. Which isn't like Zane, at all. Usually, he comes right out and tells you exactly what's wrong, but today something's up.

"It's not that, it's just…my parents, kind of, kicked me out," I respond. He brings up his gaze to meet mine, a shocked look in his eyes.

"What?" he spews out, his eyes widening dramatically.

"Well, Adam, sort of, let it slip that I'm gay and my parents, kind of, told me to get the hell out and never show my face around them again. Which is fine, because I only have, like, 2 years left before I'm legally an adult. So, it really doesn't matter," I answer nonchalantly.

"Eli! You're kidding, right? That's a big deal! Like, huge!" he exclaims.

"You can introduce me to your parents, but I can't introduce to mine, that's all," I tell him. He looks at me like I'm not getting the point. Which, maybe I'm not. Okay, I'm getting the point, I just don't want to talk about it. Sure, my parents kicked me out, but it's not like I'm going to cry about it – at least, for more than a few days or while anyone's around.

"Did you have problems with your folks or something?" Zane demands.

"No, not before this," I reply.

"Your parents are homophobes," he informs me. Like, thanks for labeling it.

"Lots of people are," I say, feeling my anger levels rising, and myself drowning.

"Woah, Eli, calm down, I didn't mean it like that," he answers. "We can go to my house. I'll introduce you to my parents. We can watch a movie," he murmurs soothingly.

"Sure," I give in willingly, not wanting to rock the boat any more than I already have. I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, probably Adam. Ha! I'm right.

**How r things?**

**-Adam**

**Leave me alone**

**Eli ;)**

**Fine :(**

**-Adam**

**Sry**

**Eli ;)**

**W/e, but u should tell him about da rumors**

**-Adam**

**Go away**

**Eli ;)**

"What did Clare have to say this time?" Zane asks me, smiling.

"It was Adam," I reply seriously.

"What did Adam have to say, then?" Zane demands curiously, still smiling beautifully.

"Not much, um, about you and Riley?" I ask, which isn't actually much of a question.

"What about us?" Zane asks.

"Are the rumors true?"

"What rumors?" he questions, the smile sliding off his face.

"About you and Riley," I elaborate.

"No, how could you even think that?"

"Think what?"

"That I'd cheat on you."

"Because I don't trust easily."

"Come on, you don't trust me that much," he whines. It's really not my fault, even though he can't see that. I can't tell him what's wrong, I just can't. We continue to walk in silence, until my phone buzzes in my pocket, again.

**Wat happnd?**

**-Adam**

**He freaked**

**Eli ;)**

**Oh, sorry :(**

**-Adam**

**W/e, just stop messing up my life**

**Eli ;)**

**Ok…u sure ur ok?**

**-Adam**

**No**

**Eli ;)**

**Oh, ok**

**-Adam**

I plug in my headphones and try to drown out the silence, the terribly loud silence – yes, I know, oximoron.

_Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart  
There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say... a total eclipse of the heart_

"Eli?" Zane interrupts. I snap my head up to look at him. "We're here," he tells me.

"Oh," I mumble.

"I'm sorry, I know it's hard for you to trust, but you have to understand how hard it is for me to not be trusted. I'd never do anything to hurt you," he says, opening his front door. "Mom! Dad! I'm home!" he yells for his parents. Instead, we're greeted by a fourteen or fifteen-year-old girl.

"Zane and you brought…not Riley," she says confusedly. I can feel my heart breaking in my chest.

"Sabrina!" he screams, as she runs away, an angry look crossing his face. He follows her and tackles her onto the couch.

"Just because you're gay, it doesn't give you the right to attack me," she informs him.

"No, but since I'm your brother, I can," he answers.

"Step-brother," she responds. He sighs dejectedly at this and she flips her blonde hair. So, that's why they look nothing alike. "Only Luke's really allowed to tackle me."

"I heard my name and tackle in the same sentence," Luke, I assume, growls as he runs into the room, jumps over the couch, and tackles them both onto it (the couch).

"I'm sorry, if you're, like, totally freaked out. I tried to warn Zane to, like, never bring his boyfriends home, but did he listen? No…" Sabrina tells me.

"We're here!" Zane's parents exclaim as they enter the room. Actually, I guess that it's his mom and stepdad since the dad looks white and the mom looks Asian.

"And it looks like the party started without us," his mom adds.

"Plan on introducing us to this boy or just keeping him standing there?" his dad (or stepdad) asks.

"Right, everyone this is Eli. Eli this is Sabrina, Luke, my mom, and my stepdad," Zane tells me, so I was right.

"So, the plan is…" Sabrina demands.

"Eli and I were going to watch a movie," Zane responds.

"Ooh, you should watch _Titanic_, it's got Leonardo DiCaprio," Sabrina answers.

"By Eli and I, I actually meant Eli and I. NOT Eli and I and my mom and stepdad and step brother and sister," Zane replies.

"Let them watch," I insist.

"Yeah, listen to your boyfriend. I like you, all Riley wanted to do was play football. And all Jamie wanted to do was take away Zane's…" she trails off, catching a look from her parents, "…virtue," she finishes, covering easily, as her parents nod in approval. Zane laughs.

"He probably would have succeeded too, had Little Miss Perfect here not come into my room when she heard me screaming," Zane adds.

"What can I say? You needed my help and everyone else thought it was perfectly normal for you to be randomly screaming with a boy in the room," Sabrina responds.

"That's enough from you two," Zane's mother says, cutting them off from further conversation.

"Yeah, there's only so much sap I can stand," Luke interjects. "Oh, never do that," he warns Sabrina.

"Do what?" she asks innocently.

"Date a boy," he answers.

"I'm straight," she replies.

"Then, don't date," he tells her.

"Right," she snorts. "Let's get straight to the movie, then." We finally decide on a movie that has action, romance, and, well, something for everyone. Zane's parents take over the love seat, holding hands while they sit. Zane and I take two of the three seats on the couch. The third is occupied by Sabrina. Luke looks for somewhere to sit, before lifting up Sabrina and sitting down, placing her on his lap – despite her objections that she's way too old for this.

"So, how was the night, in your opinion?" I ask Zane after we leave.

"I thought it went well. I'm sorry about my family, though," he apologizes.

"Well, at least we don't have to go through your awkward ex-list," I joke.

"Yeah," he answers, smiling radiantly at me.

"So, I guess this is goodnight," I say, as I get into my Hearse. He leans down and kisses me.

"Sweet dreams," he replies. I think I made it above the surface. Scratch that, I know I made it above the surface.

"How was tonight?" Adam asks me, when I get to his house.

"Amazing," I answer. Adam smiles at me.

"Sweet dreams, loverboy," he says, throwing a pillow at my head. Sweet dreams…

**Author's Note: Don't kill me, please. I know I took, like, forever to update, but I started sports and they eat up all your time. Anyway, I hope you like it. Don't worry, the rest of the story is not horribly sappy like this…that would just be lame. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Eli! Wake up, will you?" Adam screeches, his voice skyrocketing octaves above its normal range. He's upset, or annoyed, or maybe both.

"What's wrong with you?" I demand.

"It's noon on Sunday and you're still not awake," he informs me. I lift my head up from the pillow and glare at him.

"I can't believe you got me up before 2:30," I tell him, trying to go back to sleep.

"Seriously? You do realize that we go to church at 1:30, right?" he asks me.

"I don't go to church," I answer groggily. Now, if he'd just leave me alone.

"If you live under my mother's roof, you do," he replies. "She's already upset that you drive a Hearse and lived with people who kicked you out because you're gay and wear all black and jewelry and more eye makeup than her and that you paint your nails."

"No offense, but your mom's wacked," I respond. 

"I know that, but if you don't come to church, I think she'll have a heart attack," he tells me. With that, Adam races out of the room and comes back with Drew behind him. "Drag him," he orders Drew. Drew pulls me by my feet and lifts me into the air upside down.

"Put me down," I yell at Drew, hoping that he'll actually follow my orders.

"No can do, little man," he says. I shake my head in confusion.

"I'm older than you," I answer.

"Doesn't show," he replies, smirking down at me. He drops me back onto the bed and says, "Be ready to leave by 1:00, got it?" I grumble something about mindless football zombies with no brains but agree, none-the-less.

Monday morning, and I'm giving Adam and Drew a ride to school, despite Mrs. Torres' protests…her many, many protests. I find Clare in the crowd and run over to her, pulling her into a hug.

"What's the occasion?" she teases.

"You were right," I tell her. She laughs, pushing me off.

"Careful, someone might see. Besides, aren't I always?" she whispers, smiling. I smile back at her.

"Someone looks happy," Zane says, throwing his arm around my shoulders. I look up at him, he's smiling. He smiles so much, it's ridiculous. I've almost never seen him in a bad mood. Clare smiles at us, her whole face lighting up. I can practically hear her saying, "Awww," in her head.

"I've got to talk to you," Adam says, tugging on my sleeve.

"I'll be back," I tell Clare and Zane. They nod, and I slip out of Zane's hold to follow Adam.

"Okay, so…" he trails off awkwardly.

"Yes?" I ask, what's wrong with him?

"Um, do you think you could convince Clare to come on a big outing with a group of us?" he asks.

"What?" I demand quizzically.

"See, my brother, Alli, K.C., Jenna, Zane, and I wanted to go out on a big outing with you and Clare, of course. But, we need you to convince Clare to come, because…she might not want to," he explains.

"Why wouldn't she want to come?" I question.

"It's at an under 18 club," he answers.

"I see. Well, I'll see what I can do," I reply. He relaxes. "Any special reason?" I ask.

"No…" he answers uncomfortably and, even though I can tell there is, I don't say anything.

"Clare?" I ask, as I move back into Zane's arm, feeling safer there than out in the real world.

"Yeah?" she responds.

"Do you want to come to an under 18 club with a group of us?" I question. She stiffens, as though not sure how to respond.

"Who'll be there?" she quizzes.

"Adam, Drew, Alli, Jenna, K.C., Zane, and me," I tell her. She looks to Zane for confirmation and he nods.

"Oh, alright," she answers. Tuesday is a day off, for some sort of Teacher Day, which means that we could go out that night. I play a song as I dress for the night. I'm still not sure where most of my songs come from, and this one was no exception.

_There's a place downtown_

_Where the freaks all come around_

_It's a hole in the wall_

_It's a dirty free-for-all_

_And they turn me on_

_When they take it off_

_When they take it off_

_Everybody take it off_

At the club, we were dancing like a bunch of maniacs, except for Adam and Clare.

"Oh, come on," I say, grabbing them both and pulling them onto the dance floor. Honestly, they need to loosen up a bit. Halfway through, Drew handed me a drink, which I drank willingly. It was good, but I was pretty sure it had alcohol in it, since most everything after that was a blur. And, I'd lost track of where Zane was. Instead, I found myself pressed up against K.C. who'd lost Jenna, when he'd had something to drink, at least that's what I think happened.

"You're a good dancer," I tell him, because that's about the only thing my brain can process right now.

"You too, Alli," he answers. God, he's really out of it. Well, so am I, I think I've called him Clare a few times.

"It's Eli," I reply. It is Eli, right?

"Right," he says, losing himself in the beat of the song. Thirsty, I pick up a drink from the counter, and take a few sips. Probably alcohol, probably not helping me figure out what's going on. Everything gets just a little fuzzier, but the doubts are gone and I've lost track of feet above or below the surface. And who am I dancing with? I can barely make them out in this jumble of colors and sounds. "Dance with me," the person growls, I'm pretty sure it's a he. Who did I even come here with? It might have been him. I can't even remember where we are, I'm so smashed. He, I think, puts his hands on my waist and I reach up for his neck. This dude's tall, it could be anyone. He pulls down toward me, pressing his lips onto mine, hard. I'll probably have bruised lips for a while. And, with that, my mind goes completely blank.

_**K.C. comes into the room, I'm not sure where it is, but he comes in and starts talking to me. Eventually, he starts to corner me, singing, "Those lips, those eyes."**_

_**Zane sits at his table getting ready, eating a cracker with a spread. "That food. Well, there ain't nothing like a spread to get ya in the mood," he sings. **_

_**K.C. smiles at me, trying to convince me to dance. "Eli, can't you feel the burning flame of hot desire? It's gonna take more than some seltzer to put out this fire."**_

_**Zane moves toward the door, coming to find me. "I'm wailing: Look out old Baltimore."**_

_**K.C. moves closer to me. "I'm selling something you can't purchase at a ten cent store."**_

_**Zane walks down the street, moving closer and closer to where I am. "Oh, Eli, I feel like a princess. Come on and take me to the ball."**_

_**K.C. moves even closer, cornering me in, um, the corner. "I bet you're tired of heavy lifting; get your hands on something small." Which is ironic, because K.C.'s not exactly small.**_

_**Zane moves to walk up the stairs. "Because…I'm big," he chants, which is not true.**_

_**K.C. pushes me down onto my bed, where I lay. "Blonde," he tells me. I look at his hair, just to make sure. Yep, blonde.**_

"_**And beautiful. It's time to face the facts, it's irrefutable," they both sing, as Zane walks up the stairs and K.C. moves on top of me.**_

_**K.C., who's now on top of me, moves his head closer to mine. "Why waste one more minute?"**_

_**Zane reaches his hand out to touch the doorknob. "Now I feel brand spanking new."**_

"_**Eli, take a look, it's all for…" they both trail off as Zane opens the door and K.C. moves even closer to me.**_

"_**You," K.C. sighs, kissing me.**_

"_**YOU?" Zane cries out, his eyes widening at the scene unfolding in front of him, then filling with tears. **_

"Eli! Eli!" Adam yells, shaking me awake.

"What happened?" I demand.

"All I know is: Clare said someone was slipping alcohol into the drinks, Alli said that it was the worst night ever, Jenna and Zane were in tears, Drew was really upset about getting you alcohol-filled drinks on accident, and you and K.C. got kind of intimate…" he says. I groan, could this get any worse? My head starts pounding as I lift it. "Oh, and Drew says to drink some water and take these," he tells me, presenting me with a glass of water and some Advil. "And Zane says you're through, and Clare says she can't believe you convinced her to do this and Jenna's pissed that you 'took advantage' of her boyfriend – "

"Does anyone not hate me?" I interrupt.

"Well, me, Drew, Alli, and K.C. don't," he answered. Just great. "Don't worry, it'll blow over," he finishes. I simply groan in response. My life could not get any worse. __


End file.
